exhausted foodie

So, I'm still in pseudo hermity space, but I'm also living in exhausted land. I've been waking up before the sun and driving to Longmont to care for my critters while Michael is out of town. There's been stuff going on at work that has been an emotional drain, and lots of feelings of guilt and sadness. I've been so tired all the time lately.

Maybe it is my usual early fall mode. This seems familiar, the feeling of needing to nourish myself, recharge. The weather is changing, and it is making my eating out of whack...there is still lots of summery veggies coming every week: peppers, tomatoes, summer squash. And I want to make soups and cassaroles and roast things in the oven. I want bread--heavy crusty garlicy bread. And pasta. And beans. Bean soup with crusy bread and a nice salad. That is what I want.

I made the most fabulous food on monday. I made a "tomato tart": Puff pastry covered in grated parmesan cheese then baked until golden. While the crust is baking, the tomatoes are salted so they can extrude liquid. Once the crust is cooked and cooled, it is covered in shredded mozzarella cheese, then the tomatoes are "shingled" on top, then the tomatoes are brushed with garlic infused olive oil. Then the whole thing is baked. My goodness...this was amazing. It wasn't much work...the hardest part was slicing the roma tomatoes, and not eating the crust once it came out of the oven...flaky pastry covered in nutty, golden parmesan?! Heavenly.

I also made mac & cheese...2 kinds of mac & cheese. and this isn't from-a-box stuff, but the real deal. Make the sauce yourself mac & cheese. Which really, isn't hard. 1.5 Tablespoons butter and 1.5 Tablespoons flour in a pan heated up together on med-low heat until the butter is melted and done foaming. Mix well with a wisk or fork. Then add 1 cup milk while mixing. Let the milk start to get bubbly, but not boiling (you don't want the sauce to break). Once it is bubbly and thickened add in 1 cup (or more) shredded cheese. I love to use Tilamook cheddar or Tilamook pepper jack. The pepper jack mac & cheese is so amazing.

And salad is so lovely this time of year...the weather is cool so lettuce is back. And kale! And chard! and soon the beets will be out too. And the butternut squash. I can't wait to make butternut squash risotto again...yum!

Yesterday I had a snack at a lovely restaurant downtown. I had TOASTED RAVIOLI! For those of you not from the midwest, toasted ravioli is the best. Sadly, it is almost always meat-filled. So since I've gone meatless and have traveled back to the motherland, I've been unable to eat this age-old favorite. But I found wonderful ricotta toasted ravioli in downtown Boulder. Now, this is a pretty fancy, expensive version of toasted ravioli, but it was vegetarian. And for a once-in-a-while satisfaction of a food craving, well worth the price ($3 for two large pieces at happy hour).

Ooh, and last weekend, I made grape jelly. Yes I did. I made jelly! From concord grapes that came from the longmont garden. JELLY! me, I did it. I just need to make some biscuits now to eat my jelly with. mmm, biscuits and jelly. If I wasn't meatless, I'd be throwing some fried bologna on those jelly biscuits. Sigh.

Wow, I've been wiped out, and apparantly starving. I had no idea. See, I knew I needed to write. I think so much better when I'm writing. I'm back in touch with my foodie domestic diva inner goddess. And time to start knitting. Winter's a comin'!

hermitude

I find myself going into that dark, musty place of hermitude. The place that is cozy and warm and alone. Not lonely, but alone. I need some recharge time, some loving myself time, some making soap and baking and cooking and cleaning up and organizing my stuff time.

I've been doing a lot with and for others the last two weeks, but I haven't had much alone time. So I've been hiding in longmont for a bunch of hours today. Hiding in a house that is still sort of mine, peeking at my animals from the window. Wanting to love on them, but not wanting to be around anyone.

I'm full of shoulds today. I should be doing all sorts of things. I have lists and lists of things that I should do. Lists and lists of things that I should be. Lists and list of things that I should feel. I'm tired of the shoulds. Tired of the guilt that goes along with the shoulds.

So I'm not going to be a good friend today. I'm not going to be a good companion or sibling or roommate. I'm not going to be a good (insert any of the other labels that I have here). I'm going to be a hermit and hide and bake and maybe make soap and pet a cat and pay some bills and maybe make a face mask or maybe none of those things. If I don't answer you today, it's just because I'm being hermity.

busy busy two weeks

The last 2 weeks have been busy busy busy. We had orientation week Aug 20-24, then I was at Shambhala Mountain Center for our orientation weekend Aug 24-26, then I came back on the 26th and helped out on the farm because Michael was irrigating. Then the First week of School happened.

This first week was SO busy! I think part of it was not having any workstudy help, part of it was having one of my staff out on the east coast for a family emergency, and part of it was just the crazy busy wonderfulness of the first week.

I am so happy to have everyone back! I love the crazy start of the school year, the running around, the reliability of the breakdown of the photocopier, the energy of everyone coming back refreshed and re-inspired. I'm hoping to sleep a lot this weekend...it hasn't happened yet, but I'm hoping it will :)

I was able to only work a half-day on friday and then spend part of the afternoon cleaning my friend Kash's apartment. For those of you who know and love him, and those of you who don't, please keep him and his family in your thoughts. John and I have Kash's companion, Mystic Magic Ninja Kitty Princess at our place for a while. She's so wonderful and cuddly!

I haven't written in 2 weeks, and I'm feeling like I'm just dumping, but there will be more, better stories soon.

Other news...I had a little accident with my phone, and now my phone is dead, dead, dead. I'm using a temporary phone while waiting for a new one to arrive in the mail in the next week.

Along with my phone being dead, all the numbers that were stored in my phone are gone. really really gone.

So I need your number! call me, email me, text me...I have a few numbers in my head, but for many of my friends...I don't know how to reach you!