abundance and claustrophobia

I've been bouncing back and forth lately between abundance and claustrophobia. Having a lot of something can be wonderful, but if it crosses over into too much, I get all claustrophobic and tight. I think this is caused by feeling like I don't have enough time. I have lists of things that I want to do and need to do, and not enough time to do those things.

This weekend I had a list of people I wanted to call (friends and family), and I did talk to my parents, but that was it. No calls to my sibs or grandparents, not to my Paulie, Fern & Jeff, Jess, Brooks & Lisa or Jess or my EmilyG. I had a 15+ hour workday on Sunday...traveled up to Shambhala Mountain Center. It was nice to see students and staff. It was nice to have some space to talk to those people who matter to me, but I didn't get to talk to the people who matter most.

I had a mini-pretravel freakout on Sunday morning...frantically cleaning the kitchen, taking out half-full trash, running to the grocery to buy too many beverages and snacks for the road (a kombucha and a smoothie and a water bottle and two granola bars and wasabi peas?!), stopping at my office to grab office supplies, and all that before 9am on Sunday.

The line between abundance and claustrophobia is one I walk a lot. Having a lot to do, having too much to do and getting stuck because there are too many things and not enough time. Feeling paralyzed when there is too much. I've since gotten unstuck, but that stuck, claustrophobic feeling is so difficult.