29 for real this time

Today is my birthday. I am 29.

About a month after I turned 23, I started lying about my age and told people that I was 29. Mostly the people that I told were my students. A month after I turned 23 I got married, started teaching physics at a community college, and also started working as the senior lab instructor in the physics labs at UCSD. And even though I had my Masters degree, I felt insecure with the fact that I was teaching people that were almost all older than me...so when they asked (and oh, yes, they asked) I told them I was 29. Nobody questioned it.

So today I am 29 for real.

How does a girl celebrate 29? Some good fun on Friday and Saturday evenings! And as for the actual day...today started out with an 8am cleaning frenzy...cleaning up the poop pile in the boys' usual area so that we could kick out the boys and make it pretty for Angel and her new boyfriend. The stud arrived for a conjugal visit (called a "drive by breeding" in the industry) at about 8:30am. The rest of the morning we did some work in the garden afterwards and after lunch we went to see the new Pirates of the Caribbean movie. After the movie, I drove Michael to the airport. He's now in DC until Friday night.

I've been pretty mellow today, just how I wanted to spend the day!

some human interaction please!

I am taking a 5 minute "lunch" break and following up on last night's blog. I am the only one in my department in the office today, and there are only 2 other people in the whole building today. I do have a bunch of things to do, but they are all paperwork/computer work things. It is extremely difficult to stay motivated and get a lot done. I know so many people who complain about the "distractions" of having students around. For me, not having the students around is like slow death.

I like my job precisely because I like working with people. The student "interruptions" are the work that is most important...they are my clients, the ones I am here to serve. Today I feel like I used to feel when I worked in a research lab when I was working on my Masters degree...isolated and alone. Does the work that I'm doing actually matter? Well, in this case, it does...but it won't mean anything to anyone for more than a month. But it keeps me thinking about what I could be doing with my time that could be valuable in such a different way.

Sigh. My 5 minute break is over, and I've got a few things to wrap up before going to a meeting at the main campus. I'm so excited to go to this meeting...I'll get a little human interaction! :)

making a difference...or is it hopeless?

so there is a major conflict going on between Israel and Lebannon, for those out of the media loop. I realized that no matter how we feel about Israel, knowing that Israel is involved in (or instigating) a war, is newsworthy in the Jewish community.

I heard the news from a friend who called to make sure I knew what was going on (I didn't). I got the call right after picking up a friend who is in Denver for a work event for a few days at her hotel. We hung out with her for several hours, and at several points during the evening, I would unconsciously flash back on "there is bombing happening in Israel and Lebannon, people are dying." And it feels very hopeless to me...is there really anything that I can do?

Maybe it is hanging around so many Buddhists that is rubbing off on me, but I can't ignore the suffering that is happening in this world. On the drive home I was thinking about my current job, and how I have very selfishly put myself in a position where I have very little influence on very few people's lives...I don't do very much to alleviate the suffering in the world. I feel like the things I did the years I was in San Diego (teaching and being a union organizer) had a lot of impact on a lot of people, but I also had very poor boundaries around keeping the work I was doing out of my "non-work" hours. I am an all or nothing person, so the things I'm passionate about I tend to spend all my time doing, and so it was when I was teaching and working for the UAW.

That workaholic life wasn't sustainable. When I moved to Boulder, I knew that I needed to find a job that would fit the kind of life I wanted to lead, find a job where I could have a balance between work and home. I have that now, and have really good boundaries around my work hours, and eventhough I'm in a salaried position, I do keep track of how much I work and when I'm over hours one week, I work fewer hours the next. But I've lost something...my work is not the kind of bodhisattva, high-impact, make a difference in people's lives kind of work. Well, I guess that isn't totally true...when the students are around I do have an impact on them...just not quite the same as what I was doing when I was teaching physics or teaching teachers how to teach physics.

I've got to find a way of eeking out some time to do volunteer work regularly...or do something much more radical. Michael suggested that I could quit my job and do something that would be very high impact, but not necessarily employable. I don't know...I'll sleep on it at very least and see how things feel tomorrow.

the woman for all places and no down time

So this has been a marathon few days...

I was at this amazing conference all weekend, and my brain is full and I've got tons of ideas and I'm in a bit of a short circuit a the moment, so maybe sometime later I'll write about the exciting stuff I learned.

Today I found out my mom went to the ER last night and was admitted to the hospital. She should be released tomorrow, but it is never fun finding out your mom is sick enough to be in the ER. She apparantly hasn't been feeling well for a week, but didn't tell anyone. She did go to the doctor a few days ago, and was put on blood pressure reducing meds. It sounds like she had a reaction to the new meds, but it isn't totally clear.

My co-worker's husband stopped by work today and he and I chatted for a few minutes, and he asked me if I was Italian. (I'm not at all). He told me he had a friend who looked a lot like me, and he's never seen anyone that looks like either me or his friend. I told him I actually hear this a lot, (peole thinking I'm any number of different things) particularly when I travel, and he said it must be because I'm a woman for all places.

Tonight we did some camelid wrangling...we trimmed Aquirius's toenails and hand-sheared the baby...I'll have to snap some pictures, because he looks a little scraggly now. Shearing with hand shears (not electric clippers) is hard...trying to make it look even is really difficult, especially since this is only the 3rd time ever that we've attempted to use the hand shears.

It has been a full several days with basically no down time. For those who've emailed me or called me, I'm sorry I've been delinquent with answering. Things should be a little better soon.

weekend conference

This weekend I'll be attending "Money and Intentional Economics: Developing an Integral Vision"A Symposium with Bernard Lietaer

I attended the Friday night lecture tonight, and I'm really excited to see what the weekend will hold. Since it is getting late, and I need to be back there at 8:30 tomorrow morning, I'll paste below the summary from the Naropa website.

I'll be at this thing Saturday 8:30a-9pm and Sunday 9-5, so I'm not sure I'll be doing much blogging...stay tuned for some inspired thoughts (I hope)

What is the role of money in business and society? Long regarded as either the root of all evil, or as a neutral force that can be ignored, it is now becoming apparent that money matters. Research has shown that the kinds of currency used in society and the manner in which money is created and administered, profoundly effects our transactions, our values, and our relationships. Climate change, sustainability, the accelerating financial divide between rich and poor, and ageing populations are just a few of the issues that are currently being addressed by innovative monetary designs in over 5,000 communities around the globe

For the first time in North America , Bernard Lietaer will lead a comprehensive symposium covering the diverse domains of money that he has researched and written about over the past thirty years. Topics will include: An Integral Vision of Money; The Mystery of Money; Monetary Crashes Past and Future; Money and Regional Sustainability; New Currencies for a New World; and Intentional Economics.

This unique ground-breaking symposium will explore the role money plays both in society and in our own personal lives, and how we can reshape our relationship with money to empower rather than to constrain us.

Discover how innovations in how we view and work with money can:

* facilitate exchanges and transactions that connect unmet needs with unused resources

* complement national monetary systems in local, regional, or global marketplaces

* create opportunities for long term business strategies and agreements

* help support sustainable solutions to environmental problems

* produce counter cyclical forces during economic downturns

* address critically under-funded social issues such as health and elder care

* encourage the implementation of emerging clean technologies

Bernard Lietaer is one of the worlds leading experts on money and its impact on economies and societies. His most recent books include The Future of Money available in eighteen languages ( London: Random House, 2001) and The Mystery of Money ( Munich: Riemann Verlag, 2001), which he wrote while a Fellow at the Center for Sustainable Resources at the University of California at Berkeley. His latest book, co-authored with Stephen Belgin is titled Of Human Wealth ( Citerra Press, LLC ). During his thirty-five-year career in finance and monetary system related endeavors, Mr. Lietaer has held an unusually diverse array of positions. As a senior central bank executive in Belgium, he was one of the two principal architects of the ECU, the convergence mechanism that created the European single currency (Euro). In recognition of his leadership as General Manager of one of the worlds most successful offshore currency funds (1987-91), Mr. Lietaer was identified by Business Week as the worlds top currency trader in 1991. He was also a professional consultant for over a dozen years to multinational corporations on four continents; an advisor to developing countries in Latin America on how to optimize hard currency earnings; a Professor of International Finance at the University of Louvain, and President of Belgium's Electronic Payment System, credited as the most comprehensive and cost effective payment system in the world. He has co-founded with Jacqui Dunne, the ACCESS Foundation, a new international non-profit organization, which aims at providing information about the best practices available worldwide in the domain of complementary currencies. He is currently a visiting professor at Naropa Universitys Marpa Center for Business and Economics.

back from DC

I'm back from my trip to DC. It was really wonderful to be able to go back to my old stomping grounds and get to see a bunch of friends. This trip for me was about people and not so much about doing touristy things. I did have one day (Monday) where I was alone for nearly the whole day because everyone was at work. It was actually quite a wonderful day...I slept in (for DC time, was still up before 7am on Colorado time), walked from my friends' place in Alexandria, VA to the bus to the metro and took metro to GW (where I did undergrad). I spent the morning wandering around GW, got some snacks from my old shopping places: the safeway and CVS in the basement of the watergate building, just a few blocks from my old dorms.

I then wandered down past the White House to the Mall and did the "monument tour" that I used to do with my friends in the wee hours of night when there were no tourists, and the city was ours. And I spent a nice while relaxing and thinking and writing and being inspired at the FDR memorial, a place where I would go to study and to think during my last year of undergrad (it didn't exist before then).

Since I was really inspired to write, here is a spontaneous poem of sorts that was created during the bus and metro trip into the city:

man cutting grass with yellow handled scissors
woman speaking spanish to me because I am a woman
or because I have an olive complexion
but the lanky white teen boys speak better spanish than me.
a girl holds a leash with her two twin sisters strapped in
who is walking who?
my cell rings its electronica beat as it flashes the caller "Spittin G"
And the humidity makes my skin feel so soft
I notice my reflection in the glass as I stare out at the kudzu covered trees
the airport still says "National" no matter what the politicians want to call it
and I remember coming to meet a tall blond boy and his mother here many years ago
when this city was my city
and it was my home

---
The FDR memorial has a lot of FDR quotes engraved in the granite walls. I wrote down three quotes that spoke to me:

"Men and Nature must work hand in hand. The throwing out of balance of the resources of nature throws out of the balance also the lives of men."

"In these days of difficulty, we Americans everywhere must and shall choose the path of social justice...the path of faith, the path of hope, and the path of love toward our fellow man."

"We must scrupulously guard the civil rights and civil liberties of all citizens, whatever their background. We must remember that any oppression, any injustice, any hatred is a wedge designed to attack our own civilization."

a patriot travels to DC

Tomorrow I travel to Washington, DC. This trip came about because Michael has to work in DC all next week (except the 4th), and since I lived there for several years and we have friends there, I'm going to DC from Saturday to Wednesday.

In the years I lived in DC, I was never there for the Independence Day holiday, and I'm pretty excited. I am very patriotic. I love my country. I love that this country was founded on the idea that it is a self-evident truth that all people are created equal, and that all people are endowed with unalienable rights including Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. I love paying taxes because my taxes pay for thing that I think are important like roads and schools and police and fire departments and libraries, and the US Postal service, and yes, even the US military.

I know some people including our own King George have been trying to make the word "liberal" a dirty word, and trying to convince everyone that "liberals" aren't patriotic. Well that is just a bunch of crap. Political liberals and conservatives are both patriotic, we just have different ideas about Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness and what "equal" really means.

From dictionary.com, the first two lines in the definition of "liberal"

1. Not limited to or by established, traditional, orthodox, or authoritarian attitudes, views, or dogmas; free from bigotry.
2. Favoring proposals for reform, open to new ideas for progress, and tolerant of the ideas and behavior of others; broad-minded.

Well, I love this country and I love the potential that exists for truly being a place where all people can be equal. We certainly aren't there, and I'll just keep on doing the things I believe are right, and using my voting power, my financial resources, and my time to keep on working to make this country a place that is truly a place where all people can be equal and free and happy.

so I haven't even left for DC yet, and I'm re-inspired!