I've had a goofy 24 hours, all thanks to my friends John and Jess. Miss Jessica came over yesterday evening and again today, and John, Jess, and I had a giddy, giggly, goofy time filling out surveys and reading personality reports about ourselves.
I got to learn all about what the computer thinks of my 'agreeableness', 'openness', 'emotional stability', 'conscientiousness', and 'extraversion'. Surprisingly, a lot of it feels on target. Some of it doesn't sound like me, but, well, it is a computer program telling me about me.
I feel the need to record some funny things that were said so I can remember them later and laugh and laugh again.
What three things am I most thankful for?
Yummy food, good friends, and warm socks.
And what am I most passionate about?
Cheese, cooking, and scifi.
I did some hardcore knitting today...this scarf is coming along nicely. I am learning that complicated patterns take a long, long time. This scarf I'm making is reversible (same pattern appears on both sides of the scarf, and has 5 cables (fat cable, skinny cable, fat cable, skinny cable, fat cable). Very complex, but oh, so lovely. I hope Lu will like it :)
Sunday, February 17, 2008
Sunday, February 10, 2008
angry rant
I am angry and I am sad. If you don't want to read an angry rant, just move on.
This morning I got a call from some people who saw the ad for my house to rent, and are interested in renting. When I spoke with the guy, he said it would be three men renting the house. We scheduled a time for later in the day to meet there so they could see it. I already had another family coming later in the day, so it felt good to get so much interest all at once.
After I got off the phone, I started thinking. I thought about my house, how it is in a rural community where the houses aren't close together. I thought about how my body is perceived as small and weak, and that makes me vulnerable. I was thinking about what I should wear--baggy jeans and my baggy, thick hand-me-up sweatshirt were on the list. I thought about calling my neighbors to let them know I'd be at the house. How I was already planning out which pocket I'll have my whistle in, and which pocket my phone will be in. That I hadn't thought about any of this when I was going up to meet a family (husband, wife, and two young girls) popped into my mind. I thought that if I was a man, I wouldn't have to think about any of this, and I am angry.
I am angry that I do have to think about these things. I am angry that I have friends that have been sexually assaulted. I am angry that I have to put on my extra-tough masks when I'm going to meet 3 men that I don't know.
I am angry that my physical appearance puts me at risk. The fact is, I am strong, and a lot stronger than many people would guess. I am physically stronger than many women I know. I lived on a farm for a bunch of years, and now I go to the gym to maintain the strength that I hadn't even realized I gained. And even so, I am still a small woman, and so I am vulnerable.
I am angry that in order to feel less vulnerable, I put on baggy clothes to hide my curves, I build up myself image and show off by talking about carrying hay bales and other physical feats. I keep everyone at a distance.
I am angry that I get ignored and I don't get respect because of my small, female body. There is an angry, strong, beautiful, smart woman in this body who doesn't like being ignored. An angry woman who is fed up with all misogyny.
Feminism ain't about equality; it's about reprieve.
Tuesday, February 5, 2008
abundance and claustrophobia
I've been bouncing back and forth lately between abundance and claustrophobia. Having a lot of something can be wonderful, but if it crosses over into too much, I get all claustrophobic and tight. I think this is caused by feeling like I don't have enough time. I have lists of things that I want to do and need to do, and not enough time to do those things.
This weekend I had a list of people I wanted to call (friends and family), and I did talk to my parents, but that was it. No calls to my sibs or grandparents, not to my Paulie, Fern & Jeff, Jess, Brooks & Lisa or Jess or my EmilyG. I had a 15+ hour workday on Sunday...traveled up to Shambhala Mountain Center. It was nice to see students and staff. It was nice to have some space to talk to those people who matter to me, but I didn't get to talk to the people who matter most.
I had a mini-pretravel freakout on Sunday morning...frantically cleaning the kitchen, taking out half-full trash, running to the grocery to buy too many beverages and snacks for the road (a kombucha and a smoothie and a water bottle and two granola bars and wasabi peas?!), stopping at my office to grab office supplies, and all that before 9am on Sunday.
The line between abundance and claustrophobia is one I walk a lot. Having a lot to do, having too much to do and getting stuck because there are too many things and not enough time. Feeling paralyzed when there is too much. I've since gotten unstuck, but that stuck, claustrophobic feeling is so difficult.
This weekend I had a list of people I wanted to call (friends and family), and I did talk to my parents, but that was it. No calls to my sibs or grandparents, not to my Paulie, Fern & Jeff, Jess, Brooks & Lisa or Jess or my EmilyG. I had a 15+ hour workday on Sunday...traveled up to Shambhala Mountain Center. It was nice to see students and staff. It was nice to have some space to talk to those people who matter to me, but I didn't get to talk to the people who matter most.
I had a mini-pretravel freakout on Sunday morning...frantically cleaning the kitchen, taking out half-full trash, running to the grocery to buy too many beverages and snacks for the road (a kombucha and a smoothie and a water bottle and two granola bars and wasabi peas?!), stopping at my office to grab office supplies, and all that before 9am on Sunday.
The line between abundance and claustrophobia is one I walk a lot. Having a lot to do, having too much to do and getting stuck because there are too many things and not enough time. Feeling paralyzed when there is too much. I've since gotten unstuck, but that stuck, claustrophobic feeling is so difficult.
Saturday, February 2, 2008
A new old name
Hello, my name is Jennie Hyatt.
I learned this week that I am divorced. This is not a time of celebration, but a continuing in the process of mourning the end of my marriage. I love Michael. He is and was my friend. There were many aspects of our relationship that I appreciate. He is a kind and generous man, and he did his best to be a good husband and partner. I am very sad.
My name has legally returned to my maiden name, and it is strange. I haven't been Jennie Hyatt for seven and half years. I was Jennie Hyatt from the time I was born until I was 23. I remember who Jennie Hyatt was. I know who Jennie Sanchez was. I'm not sure who Jennie Hyatt now is.
Names are such strangely, important things. All this ego and identity attachment around a few syllables.
Jennie Hyatt is a woman who is divorced. Jennie Hyatt is a woman who remembers being asked if she was related to the hotel. She wasn't and she isn't, by the way. Jennie Hyatt is a woman who knits, slowly. Jennie Hyatt is a woman who loves cooking for herself, and really loves cooking for others. Jennie Hyatt loves listening to Ani DiFranco. Jennie Hyatt is a woman who doesn't have a plan for the future. She used to be a girl with big plans and a lot of ambition.
Jennie Hyatt is a woman who needs to practice saying her own name because she isn't used to it.
Jennie Hyatt is...me.
I learned this week that I am divorced. This is not a time of celebration, but a continuing in the process of mourning the end of my marriage. I love Michael. He is and was my friend. There were many aspects of our relationship that I appreciate. He is a kind and generous man, and he did his best to be a good husband and partner. I am very sad.
My name has legally returned to my maiden name, and it is strange. I haven't been Jennie Hyatt for seven and half years. I was Jennie Hyatt from the time I was born until I was 23. I remember who Jennie Hyatt was. I know who Jennie Sanchez was. I'm not sure who Jennie Hyatt now is.
Names are such strangely, important things. All this ego and identity attachment around a few syllables.
Jennie Hyatt is a woman who is divorced. Jennie Hyatt is a woman who remembers being asked if she was related to the hotel. She wasn't and she isn't, by the way. Jennie Hyatt is a woman who knits, slowly. Jennie Hyatt is a woman who loves cooking for herself, and really loves cooking for others. Jennie Hyatt loves listening to Ani DiFranco. Jennie Hyatt is a woman who doesn't have a plan for the future. She used to be a girl with big plans and a lot of ambition.
Jennie Hyatt is a woman who needs to practice saying her own name because she isn't used to it.
Jennie Hyatt is...me.
Monday, January 28, 2008
fantastical recipes from outerspace
fantastical recipes from outerspace?! Why, what a faboo idea. What I've been eating lately:
1. cheese sandwiches. How faboo can a cheese sammich be you ask? Uber-faboo, I reply. Jennie's current favorite cheese sandwich recipe FROM OuterSPAAACE (echos)
Take 2 slices good bread. Jennie is currently partial to Safeway O Organic brand seeds and grains bread. Spread one side of bread liberally with Annie's organic horseradish mustard, the other piece of bread is slathered in mayo. On the mustard side put on sliced, fresh mushrooms, thin slices of green onion, thin slices of red bell pepper, and a nice fat layer of Tilamook medium cheddar cheese followed by mayo-side of other piece of bread. Sliced pepperoncinis, radishes, and avocado are also quite faboo on this lovely lunchy sammich.
2. ginger and cardamom tea
in a pot add 2 inches of fresh ginger, peeled, and finely chopped
10 cardamom pods, smooshed
6 tablespoons brown sugar (don't worry, it dissolves, you'll never know how much sugar you are consuming)
4 cups water
bring all to a boil, let simmer 15-20 minutes. watch out, it's gingerific.
3. Stir-fried eggplants with tomato and parmesan cheese from OUTER SPAAAACCCEE
1 eggplant (1pound), cut into 1 inch pieces
1/4 cup olive oil
3 cloves garlic, lightly crushed and peeled, but left whole
1/2 tsp oregano
2 tsp lemon juice
1/8 tsp cayenne pepper
1 good sized tomato, peeled, seeded, and chopped, or about a cup of canned peeled chopped tomato
3 tablespoons parmesan cheese
soak the eggplant pieces in 5 cups of water with a tablespoon of salt dissolved in the water for 40 minutes. It helps to put a plate or bowl on top of the eggplant to keep it submerged. Drain eggplant and pat dry on a clean kitchen towel
Put the oil in a large frying pan or wok on high heat. When hot, put in the garlic and eggplant pieces. Turn the heat down to medium-high. Stir and fry until the eggplant pieces are lightly browned all over, about 5 minutes. Put in 1/2 tsp salt plus the other spices. Stir to mix, then add 1/2 cup water. Cover and turn the heat down to low. Let it cook for about 10 minutes, or until the eggplant is soft.
Uncover, add the tomato and some ground black pepper to taste and turn the heat back up to medium-high. Stir and fry for 1 or 2 minutes. Turn off the heat. Add the parmesan cheese. Toss, check for salt, and serve immediately. I love eating this over couscous. Serves 2 hungry people one meal, or one hungry person 2 meals!
This recipe is from outerspace because eggplant is my arch-nemesis. Over the years I tried to make eggplant dishes and they always turned out weird. I consider myself to be pretty accomplished in the kitchen, so eggplant must be the problem, because certainly it isn't ME! This was the first (and, well, only) successful recipe involving eggplant. I've made it more than once, I like it so much! It must be from outerspace...how else could my archnemesis be foiled?
4. Indian spicy mixed pickle and rice or indian spicy mixed pickle and bread (naan). This was dinner tonight...not that nutritious, I know, but well, sometimes I get in weird OUTERSPACEY food moods, and just want to get a little naan and pickle. so there. harumph.
5. popcorn. It is so good, it must be from outerspace. Not that weird microwaved kind, the kind you pop on your stove in a big pot with a little bit of oil. Add some salt and/or parmesan cheese on top, and hello salty goodness.
Ok, so maybe this isn't a blog about my life, but maybe it is. Maybe the food isn't from outerspace, and then again, maybe it is. I'm having a weird day, a draining bad boundary work day. A 'I can't believe I've been spending so much evening time on work stuff and I have a work meeting tomorrow night, and will be there until 9pm, and I am SO going to take Monday off next week' kind of day. maybe outerspace food is exactly what I need, where's the dehydrated icecream when you get the mood, anyway?
1. cheese sandwiches. How faboo can a cheese sammich be you ask? Uber-faboo, I reply. Jennie's current favorite cheese sandwich recipe FROM OuterSPAAACE (echos)
Take 2 slices good bread. Jennie is currently partial to Safeway O Organic brand seeds and grains bread. Spread one side of bread liberally with Annie's organic horseradish mustard, the other piece of bread is slathered in mayo. On the mustard side put on sliced, fresh mushrooms, thin slices of green onion, thin slices of red bell pepper, and a nice fat layer of Tilamook medium cheddar cheese followed by mayo-side of other piece of bread. Sliced pepperoncinis, radishes, and avocado are also quite faboo on this lovely lunchy sammich.
2. ginger and cardamom tea
in a pot add 2 inches of fresh ginger, peeled, and finely chopped
10 cardamom pods, smooshed
6 tablespoons brown sugar (don't worry, it dissolves, you'll never know how much sugar you are consuming)
4 cups water
bring all to a boil, let simmer 15-20 minutes. watch out, it's gingerific.
3. Stir-fried eggplants with tomato and parmesan cheese from OUTER SPAAAACCCEE
1 eggplant (1pound), cut into 1 inch pieces
1/4 cup olive oil
3 cloves garlic, lightly crushed and peeled, but left whole
1/2 tsp oregano
2 tsp lemon juice
1/8 tsp cayenne pepper
1 good sized tomato, peeled, seeded, and chopped, or about a cup of canned peeled chopped tomato
3 tablespoons parmesan cheese
soak the eggplant pieces in 5 cups of water with a tablespoon of salt dissolved in the water for 40 minutes. It helps to put a plate or bowl on top of the eggplant to keep it submerged. Drain eggplant and pat dry on a clean kitchen towel
Put the oil in a large frying pan or wok on high heat. When hot, put in the garlic and eggplant pieces. Turn the heat down to medium-high. Stir and fry until the eggplant pieces are lightly browned all over, about 5 minutes. Put in 1/2 tsp salt plus the other spices. Stir to mix, then add 1/2 cup water. Cover and turn the heat down to low. Let it cook for about 10 minutes, or until the eggplant is soft.
Uncover, add the tomato and some ground black pepper to taste and turn the heat back up to medium-high. Stir and fry for 1 or 2 minutes. Turn off the heat. Add the parmesan cheese. Toss, check for salt, and serve immediately. I love eating this over couscous. Serves 2 hungry people one meal, or one hungry person 2 meals!
This recipe is from outerspace because eggplant is my arch-nemesis. Over the years I tried to make eggplant dishes and they always turned out weird. I consider myself to be pretty accomplished in the kitchen, so eggplant must be the problem, because certainly it isn't ME! This was the first (and, well, only) successful recipe involving eggplant. I've made it more than once, I like it so much! It must be from outerspace...how else could my archnemesis be foiled?
4. Indian spicy mixed pickle and rice or indian spicy mixed pickle and bread (naan). This was dinner tonight...not that nutritious, I know, but well, sometimes I get in weird OUTERSPACEY food moods, and just want to get a little naan and pickle. so there. harumph.
5. popcorn. It is so good, it must be from outerspace. Not that weird microwaved kind, the kind you pop on your stove in a big pot with a little bit of oil. Add some salt and/or parmesan cheese on top, and hello salty goodness.
Ok, so maybe this isn't a blog about my life, but maybe it is. Maybe the food isn't from outerspace, and then again, maybe it is. I'm having a weird day, a draining bad boundary work day. A 'I can't believe I've been spending so much evening time on work stuff and I have a work meeting tomorrow night, and will be there until 9pm, and I am SO going to take Monday off next week' kind of day. maybe outerspace food is exactly what I need, where's the dehydrated icecream when you get the mood, anyway?
Friday, January 25, 2008
return to the blogosphere
After a very long hiatus, I am going to try to re-commit myself to blogging. The past months, I've been ignoring the blog. I've been 'too busy'. Well, duh, I'm always going to be busy! But I was carrying around a lot of emotional baggage, and doing a lot of putting-others ahead of me.
Some of the baggage I've let go of:
1. The lousy tenants were evicted on January 2! YAY! This was the biggest time-suck ever. The amount of physical time, emotional space, and mental energy this whole nightmare took up was incredible! So finally, after months of not paying anything, these people were removed from my house. I feel sad that they got themselves into a position where they couldn't pay rent, but I am pretty certain they moved in knowing they couldn't pay, and knowing they could work the system to stay there for a while rent-free.
2. The alpacas are all sold. All the alpacas that were for sale got sold. The bulk of the herd was sold to some wonderful people not too far away from where I live, and they picked up Maya, Angel, Kombucho, Amiya, and Samsara on Dec. 26. The check for Brinca (another giant time/mental/emotional-suck) was finally hand-delivered to me mid-day on December 31. I decided to keep Mr. Dash, and moved him to my neighbor Lynley's place on January 1.
3. Work boundaries. A new semester has started, and I find myself working crazy hours again. This has left me exhausted and a little burnt out. One of my employees left in November, and her replacement started the first week of January. In the interim, I was doing 2 jobs. I did get a teeny tiny stipend for this, but not nearly enough to compensate for what it did to me physically. I now have a full staff again, and I'm re-establishing boundaries around my time doing 'work'.
So here we are in 2008, time to take a look at goals and hopes for this year.. I know, I know, we've been in 2008 for nearly a month already! But, like I said, it has taken me a bit to work up to this point. My big goal for 2008: taking better care of ME.
What taking care of Jennie looks like:
1. regular exercise. For a little over a month, I've been pretty consistent about getting my big butt to the gym at 7am on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. I am also going somewhat regularly on Saturday at 8:30am. So here I am, putting it in writing...taking care of Jennie means Jennie consistently exercise 3-4 days a week.
2. going to bed by 10 on school nights. This means I have to set better boundaries around staying up reading, knitting, watching Buffy, talking to friends, etc. Going to bed by 10 doesn't mean starting the getting ready for bed process at 10, but actually turning out the light at 10 or before. How else can I get to the gym by 7am and be well-rested?!
3. seeing/talking to my friends regularly. Ok people, here is Jennie's biggest self-aggressive place. I am bad at keeping in touch with the people I care about. Seems like a no-brainer, right? How hard is it to call the people I care about? Apparently, very hard. There are a bunch of people that I really want to see and talk to on a regular basis, and there is some internal obstacle that keeps me from doing this. I know I do this. So I am going to work on whatever my obstacle is, and just pick up the phone and call my friends!
4. Eat breakfast. Drink tea. Make smoothies and lassis. REGULARLY!
4a. For a long while, I was really great about eating breakfast. In the last month, I haven't been doing a good job of eating in the morning, and I've gotten that pukey feeling at the gym on multiple occasions. I need to eat breakfast. My body needs to eat breakfast.
4b. Drink tea...well, I do this every day. I've been a bad girl lately, and have started drinking more coffee. Jennie's body doesn't respond well to coffee--she knows it. Jennie just needs to drink more tea. Besides, yay for tea!
4c. Make smoothies and lassis regularly. Goodness are these yummy. And they pack in a bunch of good-for-me things like fruit and dairy. For an amazing dairy treat, make a rose or mango lassi: Put in a blender 1 cup plain (not vanilla) non-fat yogurt, 10 ice cubes, 1 Tablespoon sugar (yes, I know that is a lot), and either 1 shot glass of rose water or 1 cut up mango. Blend, drink, enjoy, smile!
5. knit knit knit. I do love the knitting. It is relaxing (except for sometimes when I'm starting a new project), and I can be crafty and make beautiful things. knit, jennie, knit.
Ok, I guess I could go on and on, but 5 seems like a good starting place. Being realistic about what I can do and what I can take on is a big part of self-care. Over extending and over-committing are not good for the Jennie. Perhaps referring to myself in the third person is also not good for the Jennie...oh well, it amuses Jennie to do so.
Some of the baggage I've let go of:
1. The lousy tenants were evicted on January 2! YAY! This was the biggest time-suck ever. The amount of physical time, emotional space, and mental energy this whole nightmare took up was incredible! So finally, after months of not paying anything, these people were removed from my house. I feel sad that they got themselves into a position where they couldn't pay rent, but I am pretty certain they moved in knowing they couldn't pay, and knowing they could work the system to stay there for a while rent-free.
2. The alpacas are all sold. All the alpacas that were for sale got sold. The bulk of the herd was sold to some wonderful people not too far away from where I live, and they picked up Maya, Angel, Kombucho, Amiya, and Samsara on Dec. 26. The check for Brinca (another giant time/mental/emotional-suck) was finally hand-delivered to me mid-day on December 31. I decided to keep Mr. Dash, and moved him to my neighbor Lynley's place on January 1.
3. Work boundaries. A new semester has started, and I find myself working crazy hours again. This has left me exhausted and a little burnt out. One of my employees left in November, and her replacement started the first week of January. In the interim, I was doing 2 jobs. I did get a teeny tiny stipend for this, but not nearly enough to compensate for what it did to me physically. I now have a full staff again, and I'm re-establishing boundaries around my time doing 'work'.
So here we are in 2008, time to take a look at goals and hopes for this year.. I know, I know, we've been in 2008 for nearly a month already! But, like I said, it has taken me a bit to work up to this point. My big goal for 2008: taking better care of ME.
What taking care of Jennie looks like:
1. regular exercise. For a little over a month, I've been pretty consistent about getting my big butt to the gym at 7am on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. I am also going somewhat regularly on Saturday at 8:30am. So here I am, putting it in writing...taking care of Jennie means Jennie consistently exercise 3-4 days a week.
2. going to bed by 10 on school nights. This means I have to set better boundaries around staying up reading, knitting, watching Buffy, talking to friends, etc. Going to bed by 10 doesn't mean starting the getting ready for bed process at 10, but actually turning out the light at 10 or before. How else can I get to the gym by 7am and be well-rested?!
3. seeing/talking to my friends regularly. Ok people, here is Jennie's biggest self-aggressive place. I am bad at keeping in touch with the people I care about. Seems like a no-brainer, right? How hard is it to call the people I care about? Apparently, very hard. There are a bunch of people that I really want to see and talk to on a regular basis, and there is some internal obstacle that keeps me from doing this. I know I do this. So I am going to work on whatever my obstacle is, and just pick up the phone and call my friends!
4. Eat breakfast. Drink tea. Make smoothies and lassis. REGULARLY!
4a. For a long while, I was really great about eating breakfast. In the last month, I haven't been doing a good job of eating in the morning, and I've gotten that pukey feeling at the gym on multiple occasions. I need to eat breakfast. My body needs to eat breakfast.
4b. Drink tea...well, I do this every day. I've been a bad girl lately, and have started drinking more coffee. Jennie's body doesn't respond well to coffee--she knows it. Jennie just needs to drink more tea. Besides, yay for tea!
4c. Make smoothies and lassis regularly. Goodness are these yummy. And they pack in a bunch of good-for-me things like fruit and dairy. For an amazing dairy treat, make a rose or mango lassi: Put in a blender 1 cup plain (not vanilla) non-fat yogurt, 10 ice cubes, 1 Tablespoon sugar (yes, I know that is a lot), and either 1 shot glass of rose water or 1 cut up mango. Blend, drink, enjoy, smile!
5. knit knit knit. I do love the knitting. It is relaxing (except for sometimes when I'm starting a new project), and I can be crafty and make beautiful things. knit, jennie, knit.
Ok, I guess I could go on and on, but 5 seems like a good starting place. Being realistic about what I can do and what I can take on is a big part of self-care. Over extending and over-committing are not good for the Jennie. Perhaps referring to myself in the third person is also not good for the Jennie...oh well, it amuses Jennie to do so.
Sunday, December 9, 2007
jury duty
I had jury duty this week. I have to admit, I was not on the super-excited end of the scale when I got the notice, but was also not of the mind to 'try to get out of it'.
The story goes like this...
There were about 50 people who had been called in. We all assembled in a big room and watched a video about how jury duty works in Colorado. Then we were all escorted to a courtroom where 25 of us were selected at random to sit in the jury box and in extra chairs lined up in front of the jury box. We were collectively asked a bunch of questions by the judge and people were dismissed and replacement people put in their seats. Next, we were each asked to answer a list of questions in front of everyone else (name, age, education, where/how employed, how long have we lived in Colorado/Boulder County, hobbies, what we watch on TV/listen to on the radio). Then the prosecutor and defense attorney took turns questioning each of us. Then they made their selections about who not to include by having a paper with our names shuttled back and forth between them. When the list of 13 was read, and my name was on the list. There were 13 of us, 12 plus one alternate. We didn't know who the alternate was, so we all were treated and acted equally. After jury selection, we were released for a lunch break and the trial began after lunch. We heard testimony and saw evidence for 3 days, and the case ended late morning on Thursday. We were told we were not allowed to discuss the case with each other or with anyone else to keep us from forming opinions or being influenced by anyone.
We found out who the alternate was right before we went into deliberations. We were in deliberations for several hours. Some of the counts we discussed for a very long time, and even sent a question back to the judge. I feel we really were starting with the belief of innocence until proven guilty. The whole process of trial by jury is so fascinating...that 12 strangers could be randomly brought together to try to fairly determine whether or not the prosecutor has adequately demonstrated beyond a reasonable doubt that the defendant is guilty.
It was a very interesting experience, I learned a lot, and I feel really good about our judicial system after having been a part of it. I am really in love with this crazy country I live in. The defendant is innocent until proven guilty. The burden of proof is on the prosecution, and they must prove guilt beyond a reasonable doubt. A reasonable doubt is a doubt which would make a reasonable person to hesitate to act in matters of great importance. Wow. The system of trial by jury is really something to be proud about.
The story goes like this...
There were about 50 people who had been called in. We all assembled in a big room and watched a video about how jury duty works in Colorado. Then we were all escorted to a courtroom where 25 of us were selected at random to sit in the jury box and in extra chairs lined up in front of the jury box. We were collectively asked a bunch of questions by the judge and people were dismissed and replacement people put in their seats. Next, we were each asked to answer a list of questions in front of everyone else (name, age, education, where/how employed, how long have we lived in Colorado/Boulder County, hobbies, what we watch on TV/listen to on the radio). Then the prosecutor and defense attorney took turns questioning each of us. Then they made their selections about who not to include by having a paper with our names shuttled back and forth between them. When the list of 13 was read, and my name was on the list. There were 13 of us, 12 plus one alternate. We didn't know who the alternate was, so we all were treated and acted equally. After jury selection, we were released for a lunch break and the trial began after lunch. We heard testimony and saw evidence for 3 days, and the case ended late morning on Thursday. We were told we were not allowed to discuss the case with each other or with anyone else to keep us from forming opinions or being influenced by anyone.
We found out who the alternate was right before we went into deliberations. We were in deliberations for several hours. Some of the counts we discussed for a very long time, and even sent a question back to the judge. I feel we really were starting with the belief of innocence until proven guilty. The whole process of trial by jury is so fascinating...that 12 strangers could be randomly brought together to try to fairly determine whether or not the prosecutor has adequately demonstrated beyond a reasonable doubt that the defendant is guilty.
It was a very interesting experience, I learned a lot, and I feel really good about our judicial system after having been a part of it. I am really in love with this crazy country I live in. The defendant is innocent until proven guilty. The burden of proof is on the prosecution, and they must prove guilt beyond a reasonable doubt. A reasonable doubt is a doubt which would make a reasonable person to hesitate to act in matters of great importance. Wow. The system of trial by jury is really something to be proud about.
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