some days the universe gives you what you need

wow, I've been in a funk this week. I'm starting to feel the funk lifting a little, even if for a moment or two.

Today started out with a fun farm mini-drama. I went out to feed this morning and discovered the boys in the girls' corral and the girls in the roundabout area near the hay barn. Yesterday when I was hauling hay from the haybarn I must not have latched the gate closed and only loosely put the chain around the gate because the gate was wide open this morning!

those critters are so smart. As soon as they saw me, they knew they were in trouble! The boys started heading for the gate back toward their area and the girls were doing the same. Once I got everyone securely back where they belonged, I pulled out hay to feed. As I was bringing in the hay to the boys, little Amcharo decided to be mischevious and slip past me through the open gate into the backyard! When I was chasing him back in, Teddy the llama went out through the open gate! After a little chase, I got Teddy in the boys corral. Some days I do more llama wrangling before 6:30am than most people do in their whole lives

Then I got to work expecting a busy day since we had 12 visitors coming for interviews. As I was getting ready to send off half of them to interviews and the other half to a class observation, I learned that there were going to be student presentations in the class today and we couldn't send the visitors to the class. My whole day changed and I spent most of the morning doing Q & A with the prospys. I usually love doing this part, but (as you may have noticed) I'm a little out of sorts this week and instead of feeding off the energy of the visitors, I felt pretty flat. I got a little recharge in the afternoon with a hug from a 1st year student (he asked how I was and I told him honestly that I wasn't having a good day), my 12-1pm meeting was good, and I even squeezed in 10 minutes of self care by going to sit in the meditation hall!

In the afternoon I got to see a few 3rd years and that got my energy back up. Yay 3rd yr for bringing smiles to my heart!

And afterwork I got to see my JohnGuy! It was SOOO good catching up with jg and having a sympathetic ear for my heartache and being a sympathetic ear for his life updates. And he's just so fun to be with. Ya'll who know him love him too!

I'm just feeling so grateful for my life right now. even the hard days bring me good lessons. I feel so lucky to have found the courage to try to live a more authentic life and have a job where I can be real with the people around me, where I can use my head and my heart. As crazy as it may sound, I feel grateful for the opportunity to get my heart opened up so much at work that I even get my heart broken sometimes. Love (and life) is weird, eh? Sometimes the universe gives you what you need.

p.s. had weird dream last night where Paul and Tanya & Michael and I were all in a big bed chatting like the grandparents in the movie "Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory". having dinner with Paul and Tanya tomorrow. 3rd years wove in and out of the dreams too.

had dreams about Nemo, my recently departed cat the last 2 nights. Was good to see him again and hear him purring as he curled up with me like he used to when he was alive. crud. crying again now thinking of my Nemo, but again I think this is what I need. I needed to talk to Nemo, and really tell him how much I cared for him and how I miss him. so thank you to the universe for sending me nemo while I sleep.

tenderheartedly yours,

j