solo road trip day #2: flying and going deeper

Today was a totally amazing, awesome day! It started out with waking up to realizing that the universe really is trying to help me out. Ok, let me go back in time...

Yesterday, before I left Dolly's house, I pulled 3 cards from her "Angel Cards", something she does every day and that I've started to do too. These are little cards that have words for support, guidance, inspiration, etc. My 3 cards: Healing, Transformation, Freedom. interesting, eh?

In my yesterday blog, I didn't mention that when I came back from dinner, I had a conversation with 3 men. I had parked the car in the motel lot, got out, and a few spaces over there were 2 men sitting on the tailgate of their truck drinking beer and chatting. When they saw me, they started chatting with me as I unloaded the car. Being a woman alone on the first night of the trip, I was a little hesitant to get too friendly, to give out too much info about myself. I noticed my guardedness, my lame excuse for leaving and retreating to my room.

This morning I woke up and said, hey, that was a missed opportunity last night. The men were friendly, and seemed genuine. They wanted me to know they were native american. They wanted me to talk to them. Girl, if you're going to have an adventure, go have an adventure! I thought about the Book of the Dead...this wasn't my only chance. I will have another opportunity, I just need to look for it, not be afraid.

so i got myself a lovely $3.00 breakfast at the Roswell Cover-Up Cafe (and Weather Balloon Monitoring Station). I had the flying saucer special (2 eggs sunny side up, hash browns, toast and coffee). You'll need to check out the photos in my picasa album to see the alien head street lights. What a goofy town.

I was feeling really good this morning, so I decided to go to Carlsbad Caverns. It twas SO SO worth it. Carlsbad Caverns is a giant cave system near Carlsbad, NM. There were several options for touring the caves, and I chose the $6 "self-guided" tour. You could choose to take an elevator directly from the visitor center (at the surface) to the "Big room" or take the "Natural Entrance". I chose the Natural Entrance route, which descends 750 feet over 1.25 miles and meets up in the Big Room. For a big National Park, I was surprised at how non-crowded the place was. It was really wonderful being able to hike down the trail with very little interaction with other people. I stopped a few times during the descent to write. Here's some transcriptions from my journal:

"Walking down dark twisty slippery path ways. My hand on the wet metal hand rail, feeling the moisture slide beneath my fingers as I go down deeper and deeper. I've passed all the people. I am alone on this descent, down into the womb of the great mother. Away from all human voices, away from the screeching of bats. Away from sunlight and cloud and wind. Only the sound of dripping water. It is dark. I descend faster and faster down the hill. I am almost running, almost flying. Something hits my pinky finger as it slides along the bar, and my hand recoils from the railing as if bitten. My mind slowly reacts: water drop. Nothing to fear. I go into the womb, into the grave. So dark and calm and moist and musty. I am cheerful. I am alone."

"I reach the Great Room. The Main Womb. And it is filled with phallices falling from the ceiling and reaching up from the floor. Everywhere I look in this womb. Emptiness and form. I reach the place with a lookout into a deep, dark hole. I cannot see the bottom. I lean far over the railing. This is not like me! I never get close to the edge like this, never lean over. But today I lean over, and I am not afraid."

I know now the cave dreams from a few nights ago were calling me here to this place. I felt so free, so alive. I felt connected to my beginning and my ending down deep within the earth. I will come back to this place. It is only a long day's drive from Boulder, after all.

I left the caverns at 12:45, and I drove and drove and drove though the last bit of New Mexico and into Texas. The roads are empty today again. I am delighted to have so much open space all to myself. I listen to my 2 new CDs purchased at the Caverns bookstore. I listen to Neil Diamond and sing loudly. I listen to my new CD mixes given by a friend before the trip for the second and third time. I drive for hours and hours. Who knew that Texas was so beautiful?! It started out in the West with vast flat lands with huge buttes, and then morphed into a land full of trees and creeks and wildflowers and goats. Hundreds of goats munching on grasses and flowers. So beautiful. When the sun went down, the rain began. Sheets of rain so hard and furious, I had to slow to 25mph for quite a while and was still edgy. Flooding on the sides of the roads, water pooling up in the intersections in the little towns. The lightening is so fantastic it blinds me. Mini-moments of just bright light and no other sensations. Lightening and rain and rain and rain.

I finally arrive at Doug's house. He comes out to greet me and we are both getting soaked as we hug. It is SO good to see his face. I hardly recognize this man. Even though I saw him a year ago for an hour, the last time I really spent time with him he was 16 and I was 18. We stayed up a while talking, and now he's asleep and I'm writing this.

Such a glorious day.